Gary Grewal Blog #4 - Athletic Parenting....which one are you?

NOVEMBER 21, 2019

For all parents who have kids playing sports

Parenting potential athletes is not easy, its even harder if you are knowledgeable or passionate about the sport. This gets even harder if the parent him/herself aspired to be an athlete.

It’s a tough balance, which is often lost. I hope this blog and the Do’s and Don’t in it provides some assistance in discovering that balance.

The Over-Involved Parent. In most cases these are the parent was the child to succeed more than the child.

How do you know if this is you?

· You always pack your childs kid after he’s done playing and carry it in an out of the training arena

· If you get anxiety when the child is playing you are over invested and have or will most likely lose the plot in being a good parent.

· If you get frustrated with your kid while you coach him, you have already lost the plot.

· If you have trust issues with your kids coach, you will likely lose the plot.

· If you compare your child to his peers, you will most likely lose the plot.

· If you compare your child to his peers, and let your child know how his peers are better, you have already lost the plot.

The Under-Involved Parent. In these cases the parent has very little interest in the childs aspirations of becoming an athlete, and would rather have the child focus energy on something else.

How do you know if this is you?

· You know if this is you, because you have either stopped, discouraged or never shown interest in the sport or art your child participates.

· You know this is you, if you haven’t asked your child how his game was after he comes back home visibly excited or upset.

· You know this is you, if you have never checked with your child coach, regarding his performances or anything else that can be done to improve his performance.

The Ideal Parent. This parent knows what he or she requires to do in order to help the child reach his goals and dreams.

If you do these things you are the ideal parent:

· You always provide your child with a ride to get to training. This is basic, this is the least you can do, make sure the child gets to training safely. If you are busy make friends with other parents.

· You check in with the coach and understand that the coaches feedback is coming from a good place. The coach needs to now where you stand in terms of supporting your childs sport. He can then recommend appropriate future plans.

· You listen to your child when he says he needs new equipment. Most kids won’t ask for something if they don’t need it. Kids are smart and believe it or not they understand the finances in their household.

· You always encourage your child when he/she is upset, and congratulate when he/she performs well. A child should not be afraid to see you if he hasn’t performed well, he should be able to come to you for solace. You need to be his/her secure place.

· You don’t coach them things you heard or saw on the TV or think you know. You don’t teach them advanced calculus because you never did well in it, so don’t teach them how to pull a quick bouncer if you haven’t pulled one yourself.

· You don’t compare them to their peers. Don’t compare them to the star kid in the academy, all kids grow at their own rate and peak at their own time. I’ve seen kids who were absolutely hopeless as 12 years old play professional cricket, I’ve also seen prodigies struggle to make club teams by the time they are 18. The prodigies had over involved parents and the hopeless kid had the ideal parent.

· You openly discuss with your child, if he wants you to attend his games or not. My parents never attended my games, I do not know if this helped me or not. Some kids like that you are watching and some don’t. Discuss and find out what helps them perform better.

And MOST Importantly…

YOU DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR KIDS VENTURES IN A SPORT AS AN INVESTMENT.

It’s your child, not a stock that you bought hoping for a return. Be proud of yourself for supporting something they are passionate about, support them when they fail and celebrate with them when they succeed. We as coaches get attached to students as well, their success is our success, we want to do the best for them, help us help them get better and stay passionate.

Don’t turn their passion and talent into a burden, or your passion and dream into their nightmare.

—- Gary Grewal